i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
