im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
