I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
