i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
