When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We are all done wearing pants today
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
