Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
