Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
