and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
