You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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