Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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