if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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