Do you still have your period?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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