my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
