I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Still dying that you shit outside
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
