someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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