I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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