i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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