Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
