I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
