Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
vagina is talking i cant
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
