What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
