Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
