We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
