he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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