at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
