You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
