well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
