You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
