Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
