Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Sorry about my life...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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