i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
