I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
