I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
