I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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