Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
