So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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