TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
