I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
