the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
