she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
