Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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