I CAN MOONWALK!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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