She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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