i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
