I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
jump out the window naked night went bad
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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