How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
