i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
