My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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