I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
