she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
