Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
